Satisfied

Jesus and his disciples had been in the car for over an hour. Peter's small car had every seat filled and a few of the guys had fallen asleep in the back seat as soon as they left Waycross, and they had been out ever since. Peter wished he weren't the one driving. They left in a hurry and didn't eat much of a dinner, so this late night drive was a mission in getting back to Jacksonville and getting some food as quickly as possible so everyone could go to bed.

It was almost 1:30am, so their options were getting fewer and fewer. McDonalds. Taco Bell. Maybe some other fast and cheap place with a drive-through that was still open. He just wanted to be asleep and not be thinking about food.

They passed through downtown. Union Street seemed to go for miles, but he knew they would be through this area pretty quickly. The streetlights lit up just enough of the sidewalk to show a few people walking around by themselves - some with bundles and bulky coats, despite the muggy night.

Peter glanced over at Jesus in the passenger seat. His eyes were wide and he was looking around attentively.

The light turned red at Main Street and Jesus unbuckled his seatbelt.

"You guys go find some food and come back to get me. There's something I need to do."

He opened the door and jogged across the street toward a gas station nearby, slowing to a meandering walk when he reached the edge of the parking lot. The light turned green, and Peter slowly pulled forward, keeping an eye on where Jesus was headed and noting the street names so he could find him again. After all the time Peter had spent with him, it still surprised him a little when he just took off by himself.

"Where did he go?" John said sleepily from the back seat.

"Who knows?" Peter replied. "Let's go get some food and we'll come back for him."

------

  

LaToya walked as slowly as she could. He was the laziest man she had ever known. She had to be up at 6:00 in the morning for work. Reggie could sleep all day and not be missed. So why was she the one walking 5 blocks in the middle of the night to go get his lazy ass more beer?

"He better watch himself," she said under her breath. "Don't he know I can do better than him?"

She walked through the empty gas station parking lot when she saw a man start to walk up toward her. "He better not ask me for money," she thought. "Everyone is always asking me for favors."

"Hey, would you grab me a bottle of water when you go inside?" he said to her.

"You seriously asking me for favors right now, cracker?" She snapped. "I don't know you."

She never broke stride, but as she passed by him, he said, "But if you did know me, you would have asked me to get you a drink, and I would have gotten you the best water you ever tasted."

She stopped and whipped around.

"You ain't got no money! That's why you're lurking around here askin' for favors. Some attitude you got. How you plan on buying anything when you don't have no money?!"

She realized she was overreacting and yelling at this bum for no reason, but she was already tired and irritated. Everyone keeps pushing her and demanding more from her.

"If you go in there," he said. "You'll buy a bottle of water and drink it tonight. But when you wake up tomorrow morning, you'll be thirsty again. You're always thirsty again no matter how much water you drink. But if you drink the water I have, then a river will start flowing from inside you so you'll never be thirsty again. You would live forever."

She laughed. This guy wasn't even worth her time to be mad at. As she turned around, she said over her shoulder, "Yeah, you go get me that magic water, big guy! Walking here is a pain in the ass so it would save me the trouble!"

"Go get your husband and come back," he said.

She stopped.

Something in her stomach turned and she felt sick. Some old bitter feeling made its way into her bones and her throat tightened.

"I ain't married," she said flatly.

"That's technically true," he said slowly. "In your entire life, you've had sex with 6 men, and the guy you're living with now isn't your husband either.

That number. She had never been honest about that number with anyone. There was one - the first one - she had tried impossibly to forget.

"Each man you're with, you think he's going to be the one to make you happy and satisfied. But every morning you wake up, and that old sadness and thirst are still there. You keep getting thirsty over and over again because the water you're drinking won't ever satisfy you, no matter how much of it you have."

"You talk like a preacher. I'm sick of hypocrites and liars tellin' me how I'm supposed to live and be good. If God is real, he sure ain't in no church."

"When you were in church, God was a stranger, so talking to him didn't make any sense to you. But God isn't interested in you being inside a church. He's interested in being inside that part of your chest where you keep your old sadness - that part of your heart where the thirst is. That's the only place where worship happens - not inside a church or on a mountaintop."

"If God wants that so badly, why doesn't he just come down here and introduce himself?" she said quietly.

"I just did," Jesus said.

-----

Peter turned the corner and saw the lights of the gas station ahead. They found a McDonalds a few blocks away and the guys in the back seat had already eaten most of their share.

Pulling into the parking lot, they saw Jesus standing near a dark corner of the parking lot, talking to a woman. The two were standing very close to each other and no one else was around. 

"What's he doing?" Philip said from the backseat. "This really doesn't look good." 

As they parked, the woman started backing up, still keeping her eyes on Jesus. Then she turned and ran in the opposite direction. The disciples got out of the car and Jesus walked up to them. Everyone waited to see if he would explain what he was doing, but he didn't say anything. He just leaned against the hood of the car and looked up at the night sky, smiling to himself. 

Peter and John exchanged looks, but neither of them would say anything. John grabbed the McDonalds bag and held the burger out to Jesus. Jesus didn't look away from the stars - he just hummed to himself and smiled. 

"We saved one for you," Peter said. "You should eat before it gets cold." 

"I already ate," Jesus said with a sly smile. 

John and Peter exchanged glances again, asking each other with their eyes if the other knew what he was talking about. Neither did. 

Jesus' eyes lit up as he looked at them both. "God gave me a job to do, and seeing it done fills me up! It's better than food to me!" He sprung forward and turned back to the disciples, teeming with energy. He seemed to be like a wild animal about to break out of a cage. 

"People say 'plant the seeds and wait for the right time.' But look around you!" He swung his arms and raised his voice. Peter and John looked around nervously. "The right time is right now! There are souls all around us ripe for the gospel, so why do we wait? Someone else planted the seed in their heart decades ago, and now it's ripe and we get to be the ones to bring in the harvest! Other people worked so hard to bring them this far - you and I are here right now to bring them home." 

As he was still talking, the woman returned and she had around her several confused, but eager and curious people. She pulled on the arm of a man and pointed at Jesus. 

"There he is! This guy told me everything I ever did! Everybody listen up!"

Jesus walked over to meet everyone, arms open. Peter smiled and shook his head. Turning to John, he said, "You know what this means, right?"

"I think it means we're going to be here a while," John replied. 

"Anywhere else you'd rather be?" Peter asked. 

"Not on your life," John answered. 

Writing Massive Checks

Imagine writing any check for any amount and knowing 100% that it’s going to cash every single time. Tell a child to think up the biggest number they can imagine, and then picture standing in the checkout line, seeing that number on the screen, and swiping your debit card, entering your pin, and knowing 100% that it’s going to go through because the funds are there.

It’s no surprise that there are people who emotionally fill us and people who emotionally drain us. Steven Covey talks about this in terms of relationship equity - that sometimes people make withdrawals and sometimes they make deposits into the relationship. He encourages you to make sure you have the relational equity with someone before making a withdrawal - that you’re not bankrupting those in your life.

Caroline and I were talking about grace this weekend and this topic came up. There are people you’ll interact with who will primarily make withdrawals - and not too many deposits. The obvious feeling around these people is to feel drained, spent, exhausted, and so on.

But here’s the thing: I’m a Christian, so I believe that I have been given grace by God and I’ve been asked to re-gift that grace to others. In a way, God gave me access to his checking account of grace and then told me to give as much away as I possibly could in my lifetime. When I write a check of grace to someone else, it always clears and it can’t make me feel drained because it’s not coming out of my account. If I feel drained, it’s because I’m trying to cover their withdrawal from the wrong account.

The next time someone slights you, cuts you off in traffic, insists on their way, doesn’t take your feelings into account, puts themselves first again and again, think about this. Imagine that action is them demanding grace - a lot of grace. Imagine taking out your checkbook, writing the entire sum they’ve asked for with no questions asked, and handing it to them, knowing that God has asked you to give away as much of this stuff as you possibly can in your lifetime, so this amount is fine.

Imagine that withdrawal is being taken out of oceans and oceans of grace that God has poured out for you, and that even if you tried every day of your life to giveaway as much grace as you could, his supply would still be brimming and overflowing off the edges of the world.

The withdrawal isn’t coming from your account. There is nothing to feel empty or drained about. He put you on his account and any check you write will clear. So give it freely and know that God has supplied far more than you will ever need - for you and for anyone you pass it on to.

Be an agent of grace, looking for any and every chance to write that check.