If insomnia were a character quality, I would be venerated
on the spot.
I do feel fortunate, though, that my particular flavor of insomnia only strikes when I have some kind of idea which I am excited to flesh
out. This means that as far as long,
lonely nights go, mine are fairly productive.
Insomnia is my response to the curious.
Sleep is an interesting idea, spiritually speaking. We are no doubt familiar with the concept of
rest and how that is something God wants us to do – no doubt, for our own
good. Those two must not be exclusively the
same since one can have a restless sleep and a restful experience while fully
awake.
This reminds me of an experience Caroline and I had in a
museum in St Augustine. We were
wandering around the city, with nothing in particular to do, and we poked our
heads into a small art museum. I cannot
tell you why, because art has so rarely affected me in any significant way, but
Caroline and I were moved to silence by this art. We stayed in this small shop for close to two
hours, looking at each piece by an artist I cannot now recall. Two hours we marveled in the face of the
beautiful. When we walked out of that
small shop, and were reborn into the street of St. Augustine, I took a deep
breath of the hot afternoon air, and felt like I had just woken up from a long
and restful sleep.
One of my favorite words is “insatiable,” because it has a
driving sense of internal thirst for something.
I often feel this driving thirst, and I think it is this thirst that
keeps me awake at nights. It is my
curiosity monkey that will not leave me alone.
But when we walked out of that museum, we were satiated – full and
content.
To rest is to relax every muscle in your mind and come to
rest in the eye of a storm, momentarily knowing that it is okay.
I think rest is our response to the beautiful. This may be why God gave us beautiful Sunday
afternoons to take a picnic somewhere, or sit at the beach, or walk in the
woods. I think He likes it when we experience
rest as a response to His beauty. Our
greatest rest, of course, comes gradually, as we see more and more of Him.
Good post Stephen. I had a similar experience walking around Nashville one night when Tyler and I stumbled upon an art exhibit. We just wandered from exhibit to exhibit with no agenda, just relaxing and enjoying it. It sounds like the art you saw was better than what we did, but it was peaceful and enjoyable nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff Stephen; I am enjoying your writing! Inspiring to say the least :-)
ReplyDeleteThis topic reminds me of "Spiritual Pathways" ways our heart connect/hear from God... Beauty does it for me in a huge way!
Chris - Thanks! It's funny how random experiences can stick in someone's mind so clearly, when I couldn't tell you three things about the Gothic Cathedrals, even though my Humanities professor tried very hard to teach me. :)
ReplyDeleteTammie - Awesome! That's so encouraging to hear! I haven't read it, but I think I should now!
I think the same curiosity monkey ails me. Tonight I had a graphic design idea that would not be kept waiting until tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThis rings true: "To rest is to relax every muscle in your mind and come to rest in the eye of a storm, momentarily knowing that it is okay."
I have found that rest is so much more than lack of activity. It is not a negative concept, an absence, but a positive thing, a real goodness that has a kind of spiritual shape. Maybe that is why Jesus defended His disciples when they plucked wheat on the Sabbath: His rest was something greater than inactivity. In any case, I'm grateful for those beautiful Sunday afternoons you so aptly described. Beauty does have a way of ushering us into restfulness. Perhaps it is the realization that, just for the moment, there is no work to be done, nothing that must be mended or figured out.
"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from His." (Hebrews 4:9-10)
Thanks for the post. It has me longing to enter God's ultimate Sabbath-rest.
And maybe a good art museum in the meantime.
DeleteThank you Jordan - the Hebrews 4 verse is very apt :) The artist was Frederick Heart by the way - specifically, the Ex Nihilo exhibit.
DeleteThis is a beautiful description and reasoning of something I've experienced but about which I've never thought. Mainly, when you described being in the shop for two hours and then entering the outside world, I knew the exact feeling of which you spoke. However, and you may have meant this, when I step out into the light/reality after being in a zone of something (whether beauty, calm, tranquility), it is like an unwelcome jolt to my system.
ReplyDeleteThose are always the fun ideas - the ones you know but haven't exactly formulated into a mature thought. I wasn't exactly jolted - it was much like waking up in a hammock in the sunlight. You're napping, and you think you're awake, but it's only when you open your eyes that you realize how asleep you were. Dozing in the sun, almost.
Delete