Mix. Don't Match.

You know what has always seemed like a funny idea to me?  That people are thought to thrive best when they are surrounded by their peers. 

Isn't this the idea behind grades in school and why youthgroups exist in churches and why we are encouraged to spend time with people our own age?  But the problem is really simple.  How can anybody learn anything of value from people who are in the same stage of life as they are?  What could a twelve-year-old possibly have of value to teach another twelve-year-old?  I certainly cannot imagine what that would be.

This seems obvious when it’s down on paper, but the acceptance of this notion is far-reaching and its consequences are not menial.  Entire generations are being emotionally stunted because they are looking around at the people next to them and the people next to them are doing the same.  This breeds “trend-setters” who are hailed for greatness because of their confidence rather than for their competence.  It is the appealing, not the good, that sets the bar for young people in this system.  This is dangerous for the simple reason that “the appealing” for a twelve-year-old is almost never good for them.  They’re twelve. 

Mix.  Don’t match.

The “one room schoolhouse” model of teaching might have more merit to it than we might have thought.  Kids who are put in a position where they are helping younger kids with the things they used to struggle with teaches responsibility, caring, patience, and a non-self-centered worldview.  In churches, kids should be learning from people who are older and more mature, not pandered to by a childish adult who is trying to relate to them.

Here is my personal view of how someone should learn to be an adult: find someone you want to be like and spend time figuring out how to do that.  Also, keep an eye for younger people you can teach a thing or two to.  Usually this will happen by you seeing someone else fail at the same thing you used to fail at.  Step up and share what you learned from your failure so they will spend less time than you did figuring out what’s wrong.