Workplace and Grace

I work in a restaurant. Specifically, I work at Olive Garden. But don’t worry; nothing in this article is critical of my employer. I want to talk about relational-based jobs, like restaurants.

When I say a “relational-based job” I mean a job where you rely on the cooperation of many people to get a task done, and as a result, it behooves you to be on good terms with as many people as possible to get your job done. Also, these types of work environments tend to be very vicious in the areas of gossip, slander, and passive aggressive problem solving (or creating). Any workplace that is so relational-based is extremely volatile. If you make the wrong people mad, you could find your food conveniently delayed or your table might not get wiped down as quickly as someone else. Money tends to make people happy in these kinds of environments. That’s why we tip our bartenders and bussers (or ought to anyway).

 Here’s a fun situation: If Jack doesn't refill the ice bin often enough, expect Sam and Brittany to tell anyone who will listen to them exactly how lazy Jack is. Then Jack hears what Brittany said and tells Jordan how many tables he had, and how he didn't have time to get the ice, and wouldn't it be nice if Brittany didn't talk about people behind their back. Except now, he’s done the same thing. Then Jordan, who is friends with Sam, tells him what Jack said about Brittany, which gets around to Brittany. All the while, Tony, Sarah and Tim have been running food for everyone else, which goes hardly noticed, since that’s what everyone is supposed to be doing anyway.

So why is virtue ignored as the bare minimum and vice held up as the greatest of crimes, to be passive aggressively discussed, with everyone but the person it concerns? If our workplace is a machine, then speaking poorly about someone behind their back is like an oil leak. Very quickly, it drains all understanding or empathy or grace that usually lubricates the social interactions of work.

Ever notice how when someone else doesn't do their job, it’s due to laziness, but when you don’t, it’s due to busyness. It’s like when we’re in traffic – someone cuts you off and it’s because they’re a jerk. But when you cut someone off, it was an accident or you were in a hurry or they were in your blind spot. If we extended the same grace to everyone else that we give ourselves, I imagine people would seem a lot easier to get along with.

So here’s my challenge – and coworkers, feel free to keep me accountable to this:
1) To speak poorly of no one - whether I think they've earned it or not.
2) To point out the good things that people do and not take them for granted.
3) To not speak about someone behind their back.

Doctrinal View

People have often pressed me for my particular views on some of the more sensitive issues in higher theological doctrine; predestination, free will, losing salvation, baptism essential for salvation, infant who die going to heaven or not, and so on. Here is my answer to all of them. If debating high levels of theology somehow brings either of us into a closer relationship with God, makes either of us fall in love with Jesus in a deeper way, or brings unity among brothers and sisters in Christ, then I will gladly discus it with you. If, however, you are arguing to gain spiritual points, or to prove that you have a better understanding of God than another brother or sister, or to win a convert to your faction of Christianity, count me out.

If you are arguing that Christ does not save us, or that one cannot be saved then there is some urgency for that topic. But, if we are simply debating the method by which Jesus does save us, or the mystery behind God’s hand in the world, then I wonder about the immediate need for an answer. The truth is that there are greater mysteries in our faith and bigger issues to which we trust God. Here’s the issue. We would rather argue over the ways in which God could save people, rather than be that means of salvation.

The thing about the debates over salvation is that it is almost always, as far as I have seen, not a debate for one’s own salvation. The debate is almost always whether or not someone else is saved or can be saved or decided to be saved or was destined to be saved and on and on. What I mean by this is that, the argument is always based on the premise that the person speaking is in fact saved, regardless of the method they believe it came about by. So regardless of which side you choose, both sides are believers in Christ—whether they believe that they chose that or that they were destined to be saved, or that they were destined to choose or chose to be destined… Here’s the bottom line: are you now, as this argument is being debated, in a relationship with God? One would assume that the people arguing about it are the ones who have crossed over anyway. If so, stop arguing and trust that the God, who saved your soul from the brink of Hell, knows what He’s doing whether you do or not.

the time it has taken for countless Christians to argue over the minutia of the mystery of how Christ came to save us, I wonder how much good could have been done from your position of having already been saved.

God said love those who hate you and make disciples of all the nations and that He would help you and I do it. I say we do it.

Midnight Drive

A short story:

The wind was colder than he thought it would be. The lights came on when he opened the car door, and he was caught off guard by how quickly the cold penetrated through his jacket. Clumsily, he closed the door and zipped up his jacket to his neck, even though it was a short walk to vending machines. He had only been driving for an hour or so, but at 1:00am, with the heater on full blast, he was starting to fight with sleep and this was the first rest stop he saw. Pete stared vacantly at the options in front of him. Typically, he would never go to a vending machine to buy water, but he knew he needed to this time. $1.25 and he didn’t have a quarter, so he inserted two single bills and retrieved his change. He glanced around at the other machines, wondering how far 75 cents would go. Gum. Spearmint. 50 cents. That would have to do. He put the last quarter in his coat pocket and fumbled for the keys again. He wanted to see a friendly face, so he could remark on the peculiarly cold weather this week, but friendly faces are rare that late at night. What is it about faces that look friendly or not? He concluded it was something in the eyes and turned back up the heat. He struggled with the gum package, his fingers too cold to do anything intelligent and ended up opening it from the bottom. No matter. At least it was open. All he had to do was stay awake for another hour and he would be home free. This mid-week trip home was more business than pleasure. His car needed some work done on it and honest mechanics are hard to find. Besides, two hours isn’t so bad, especially when he had been meaning to get back home for some time anyway.

5 miles down the interstate, a woman was driving the opposite direction. The headlights she saw were distorted as she tried to wipe the tears from her bloodshot eyes. The only time she had been yelled at like that was when she was a child. Why did he have to say those things? It was like he could see into her heart and knew what things would hurt the most. As waves of emotions swept over her, again and again, she tried to keep strong. She didn’t know why she felt she had to be strong; there was no one who would hear her cry. Maybe she had to be strong for herself; as if she could fool the one person who knew her. She didn’t know where she was driving to, she just needed to get away. Why did he have to drink so much? She never understood the impulse to drink. As a semi passed her in the left lane, the tall headlights illuminated a fresh bruise on her left temple. The lights hurt her eyes.

Pete drove another 3 miles, feeling more awake now. Between the cold water and the gum, he had jump-started his brain back into cutting-edge clarity. Nothing good was on the radio this late at night, so he chose silence over negative sound. Besides, he could think better when there were no sounds around him. He looked at the cars passing him in the other lane, noting the different states they were from, wondering about each of their stories, why they were on this road, who they were going to see. Pete liked people watching. He liked imagining what kind of people they all were. He wondered what the situations were that made each person who they are. He squinted his eyes to keep his night vision. He hated it when people left their brights on. He avoided looking directly at the light and flashed his lights to remind the forgetful driver to be more courteous. The driver got the message and returned their lights to normal. Pete tried to recover his train of thought, but it was gone.

She was just two exits from where she started, but she could feel the oppressive darkness right behind her head. As if everything that was behind her was everything she had known. Samantha hated everything she had known. Why couldn’t she just keep driving? Why not drive until she ran out of money and make a new life there? She caught her breath at the thought. She was standing on the threshold of freedom and all she had to do was keep going.
She felt the dark cloud of that evening’s events slowly lifting like a mist. Up ahead she saw freedom. In her rear-view mirror she saw darkness. She felt like an animal, wriggling free from a trap and running for the safety of anything else. He would never be able to find her, even if he wanted to; though she was pretty sure he would not. Why had it taken her so long to even want to break free from all of this? Tonight was the last straw. One by one, she disconnected the emotional strings that attached her to everything behind her. As each one flew off like elastic and disappeared into the darkness behind her, she felt one step closer to freedom. Her breathing quickened as releasing the strings came easier and easier. Finally, a fresh idea had come. Something wholly different that anything she had done before. She would leave and she would never look back. This was the greatest moment of freedom she had ever felt! She had two-thirds of a tank of gas and thirty-eight dollars in her purse. With those two, combining forces with her new sense of adventure, she would start a new life wherever she happened to land. As she sighed in satisfaction for the excitement ahead of her, something caught her attention out of the left corner of her eye. Someone had flashed their brights at her. Of course, she flipped her brights off and settled in for the adventure she had just given birth to.

Failed Goals

So my goal to write a book before the end of this year was a bust. Not a total bust, but if you can only cross of goals once they're finished, then it was just as much a bust as if I had never even tried. The truth is that, without any goals, I wouldn't have even tried. So this year, my goals will be to attempt goals...then I can cross off as many things as I attempt.

I like setting high goals for myself, with the full knowledge that I probably won't make it. That's not discouraging to me, it's idealistic. If I set goals I know I can achieve, they're not really goals; they're just declarations of activities before the fact. There has to be something wagered. A goal, to me, is me betting against myself, and betting that I'll come through. Even if (or rather, when) I don't, I probably got closer to the goal by setting it, than I ever would have just thinking about it.

So I set goals, and I don't make it. But I tried. Again. So this year? I'll keep working on this book. I'm also experimenting in short stories. I'm just writing paragraphs at a time, trying to get back into descriptions and scene writing, rather than essay writing.

Lessons Learned

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

This verse always confused me on some level. Essentially, what I’ve always taken from this verse, is that ‘God will give me good things if I ask for them.’ So as long as I made sure that what I was asking for wasn’t evil, I was home free.

I had a 1988 Mitsubishi Montero, two door truck. It wasn’t a bad truck; I actually kind of miss it. The only problem I had with it is that it always broke down at just the wrong times. To start off, my Dad and I spent almost two years, off and on, trying to get it running for the first time. There was an entire laundry list of things that went wrong, every time we were ‘almost there’. Among other things, this truck taught me to be patient with inanimate objects. Other situations taught me to be patient with people, but this truck taught me not to waste emotions on just things. If I got mad, the truck just sat there, looking at me as if to say ‘tell me, what is it that you think you just accomplished by that?’ It didn’t care. It wasn’t even close to caring about my frustration—even though it was the sole reason for all of my anger and despair. It just sat there, seemingly oblivious to my anger. Obviously, it wasn’t going to change, so in the end, I was the one who ended up changing.

During the months and years when it was so close to being fixed, I kept praying that God would fix it. I analyzed the situation. Were my motives evil? Nope, certainly my motivations were not evil. Was I asking for something evil? Again, I was not asking for anything evil. So according to Matthew 7, God is going to give it to me, because "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” Clearly God would answer my prayer.

I don’t think I was wrong for believing this. In retrospect, I see that it certainly wasn’t wrong—it was simply incomplete. I knew that if I asked God for metaphorical ‘bread’, He would not give me metaphorical ‘stones’. So why wasn’t He fixing my truck? In fact, why isn’t He doing a lot of things we see as good? Why is he letting evil people rise to power? Why do women have miscarriages? Why do we pray for one good thing, and get something else entirely?

I don’t have answers to these questions. In fact, I don’t have answers to a lot of questions. I may not have answers, but I may have something better. I have access to Truth. I’m not talking about truth in the sense of ‘things which are true.’ I’m talking about Truth, with that capitol ‘T’.

Here are two things I’ve learned: the first is that the world is not divided into the two categories of good and bad. There are good things, there are better things and there are best things; all of which can be abused. Though it would be good for my truck to be fixed, God saw that it was better that I learn patience through a broken truck. The second thing I’ve learned is that often, we may think that we’re asking for bread and God is giving us stones, simply because He can. But picture this: what if the entire time, we’ve been asking for the stones and God, in His mercy, has been giving us the bread. We are like children, grabbing the bright shiny knife, thinking that that is exactly what we want or need. Our loving Father, who knows far better than we, holds back our hands—not from something evil, but something that He knows better than to give us. So we cry, like the children we are, for the things we think we need—a fixed truck, a fixed relationship, the money to go on that trip, the free time we think we need.

Here’s the bottom line: if you have already trusted God with your eternal soul, by trusting in His Son, Jesus, then you have no reason in the world to doubt His massive capability to govern your life. If He gives you what you did not expect, don’t assume that you know better than He. Our Father has always had the greatest regard for your best. Don’t doubt His intentions the moment you can’t see His hand.

The Best Day of My Life

This the transcript of a speech I did in 2007 in a Christian Speech and Debate League.


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The best day of my life, will be the day I die! I can not wait to die!

If this sounds dark, depressing or just plain weird, then you’re just the person I want to talk to. I have something that I ecstatic to share with you. I have freedom from the fear and mystery of death. I have a crazy, God-centered, anticipation to die. Not anticipation of death, but of dying. I’ll explain the difference in greater depth later on. My goal today, to persuade Christians to live to die, not in a morbid, dark way, but instead by opening your eyes to what life is, and what it really means to die.

My goal, is to persuade Christians to live with this whole new twist on life, living on a higher plain, by directing their focus back to the center point of our faith.

I’m going to split this into two sections. The first will focus on why Christians shouldn’t fear death or dying…at all. And the second section will focus on why Christians should actually be looking forward to dying, with this God-centered anticipation. And that’s the true essence of what I want to talk about.


Section One

Within section one, there will be three points on why Christians should not fear death, and not fear dying. And at the end of this first section, I hope that you will see my reasons for believing what I believe about death.

The first point is that you will die. Sorry, It’s gonna happen. The statistic is staggering, ten out ten people die. I once got a quote through email; it said ‘health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.’ And that may seem a bit depressing, but it’s true! Regardless of what we want, think or do, we will die. Everyone does.

Hold on. My point is that we should not fear death. But my first reason for this is that death is inevetable. But isn’t that the reason that people fear it? Don’t we instinctively fear what we cannot run away from, or escape?

Think about it this way: Assuming you don’t die in the near future, tomorrow will come. Do you fear tomorrow? Probably not. Tomorrow is coming whether you like or not, just like death.

Now, you may be afraid of what you have to do tomorrow. For example, many people fear public speaking. So the day before you are going to speak, would you be afraid? But I doubt that anyone feared the day itself. Now, let’s take that logic, and apply it to death. It’s wouldn’t make sense to fear death, because it’s inevitably coming, just like tomorrow. And of course, some people may fear what they have to do on the day of their death. But Christians are not any of those people.

And that is the second point in section one. Christians have nothing to fear in being judged by God, because we have been made right through Christ Jesus.


This brings me into the third point.
The sun rises every morning, without my saying so, or not. I have no control over it. So I don’t worry about it. My worrying about the sun won’t change a thing. The same thing goes for our deaths. In Ecclesiastes 8, it says that no man can prevent the day of death. So, if I can’t delay it, it is pointless for me to worry or be concerned about it.
I cannot stop the day of my death, just like I can’t stop the earth in motion.


But is that always true? Is it really true to say that not being in control is sufficient reason to not worry? Any parent who’s gone through driver training with their teenager will know what I’m talking about.

There are situations where not being in control is precisely why we worry. Driver training, roller coasters…although for me, those two were probably the same! The point is that there appears to be situations where you’re not in control, and it’s fine, like the stars and the Sun. But there’re also situations where you’re not in control, and you are definitely NOT fine!

And this is the essence of the third point. What’s the difference? How can you not be in control of the world, and be fine with that. And not be in control of the car, and NOT be fine with that.

The deciding factor between the two, in my opinion is actually two reasons. The first is the knowledge of who is in control and the second is whether or not you trust that person with being in control. So you’re ok with God controlling the universe, but uncomfortable with your teenager in controlling the car.

But here’s the clincher! I trust God to keep the universe in check, right? Of course! Well, that same God has complete control over me and my death. Psalms 48:14 says “For such is God, Our God forever and ever; He will guide us until death.” So, the same God who controls the earth and its orbit in space has complete control over me and my death. I have the freedom to hand over all worries and concerns about the time of my death into His perfect hands. I can truly be fine with not having the ability to delay my death. My death is where it belongs, in God’s perfect hands. I don’t have to worry about it anymore. And you don’t have to worry about ether. We are both free from the fear of death, and the fear of dying.

It was Jim Elliot who said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose.” That says it all! I’m no fool because I gladly give up my life (which I cannot keep anyway) to gain what I cannot lose!
Hebrew 2:14
14Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself (speaking of Christ) likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil,

So God has made powerless the one who had the power of death. Death, and the one who controlled it, have no power over us anymore. God has taken away the fear of death. So we as Christians have no business putting ourselves under that fear again.

Paul said in 1st Corinthians 15:55
"O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O GRAVE, WHERE IS YOUR STING?"
We should be the only people in society who have the crazy reputation of not fearing death.

So in conclusion of the first section, death is coming so you don’t have to worry about it or when it comes. God is in complete control of your death. And we can trust God, with that control. Death brings everyone to Christ, and Christians have nothing to fear in that meeting. So, there’s really no rhyme or reason for Christians to have a fear of death or dying. God has taken that fear away so that we can be free in Christ.



Before I go into part two, I need to address something that I alluded to in the beginning. I said in my introduction, there is a difference between looking forward to death, and looking forward to dying. And I need to explain that in more detail. Death is when your body dies. Dying is your soul moving on to eternal life. The center focus of death is the decomposing of this body. The center focus of dying is the moving on of this soul. If dying is going to your friend’s house, death is the act of leaving your house. I look forward to dying, moving on to eternal life, not to death, the fading of this body.


This brings me into part two

Why you should be looking forward to the day you die.

Now, I don’t fear roaches, but that certainly doesn’t mean I look forward to them. In the same way, you may not fear death, but it doesn’t mean you look forward to it.

Revelation 21:4 in reference to the end of days, it says:
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Who wouldn’t look forward to that? Death, crying, sorrow, pain will all be gone forever.

But I said a “God centered, anticipation to die.” Not a comfort centered anticipation.
And that’s what it is: God centered.

Personally, I like Norman Rockwell pictures a lot. I’m a sucker for Norman Rockwell. I would have considered it a great honor if I could have met him, and spent some time talking with him. That would have been fantastic! I could enjoy his art and be amazed at his creativity, but that would all fade into the background if I could have met him.

Now think about this, God is the artist and you are the art. How you could be amazed at his creation and enjoy this life, but that all fades into background at the thought of finally spending the rest of forever with the ingenious artist of your entire being!

No pain and no tears are certainly wonderful thoughts. But those are not the reasons I look forward to my death. ‘A God-centered, anticipation to die.’ That is the reason. When I die I can finally fall at my savior’s feet, and love Him and worship Him for the rest of eternity.


The disciple Andrew was this kind of man. According to “Foxe’s book of Christian martyrs” by John Foxe, he was brought before the Roman proconsul told not to preach in the name of Jesus Christ, or he would be crucified. Andrew replied “I would not have preached the honor and glory of the cross, if I feared the death of the cross.” He was condemned to die. Upon seeing the cross on which he would die, he said “Oh cross, most welcomed and longed for! With a willing mind joyfully and desirously, I come to you, being the scholar of Him, which did hang on you, because I have always been your lover, and yearn to embrace you!” Whoa! Where are the Christians like that today? Where are they? It is my goal to be one, and to raise up others out of the ashes of a life centered faith. The entire premise of our Christians faith is the dying. The dying of Christ, the dying to self, dying to sin, looking forward to the day where death itself dies, and we can enjoy the life that we died and enjoy the one who died for us.


After saying all this, I need to make this point. I would never dream of taking my own life! I love God too much to do that. It’s like two couples who are dating. The first couple says, “To show how much we love each other, we’ll sleep together before we’re married.” The second couple says, “To show how much we love each other, we will wait until we’re married to sleep together.” Both couples lay claim to the reason of showing their love, but with opposite outcomes. If the first couple truly loved each other, they would never dream of jumping the gun like that. If someone truly loves God, they would never dream of taking their life. I love God too much to take my own life.

But really, can you imagine waking up every morning and saying “God, if today is the day that I can finally see you, then that’ll be the best day of my life!” What a beautiful thought! If you look forward to death, then it can’t scare you! And if death has no hold on you, what does? What can scare you, if death brings what you most want? Eternity with the God you love. Embracing death, with God at the center of your life, puts a whole new paradigm on life. Life is a time of spreading this fire that God has set in your heart. What if you’re persecuted? What if you’re a social outcast? What if…? Count it all joy, because trouble now, brings treasure in heaven. What if they kill you? So? Then that would be the best thing that could happen.

So life is full of tribulation, which brings treasure in heaven. Death achieves what life cannot. Death is the best thing a Christian can hope for. But as Mark Cahill puts it, there’s “One Thing You Can’t Do In Heaven.” And that’s sharing Christ Jesus, here on earth. Life is a harvest field, and death is the only medium between this life of pain and eternal life with God. Live to die. Don’t be discouraged, however many trials come today, or the rest of your life, we have a beautiful promise at the end of the road.

This is the new twist on life, and higher plain that I mentioned in the beginning. This is a whole new paradigm. Life is the only time we can spread the word of God. If we’re rejected or persecuted, that stores up treasure in heaven. So life holds no fears, and to die is our reward. Keith Getty put it this way in his song, “In Christ Alone”, “No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me.” Death brings what Christians live for, eternal life with the God we love. What is there to fear in that?

The best day of my life, will be the day I die!

My Brother Joshua

This is a paper I wrote for an English assignment. Our assignment was to write a profile of a person in our life who has had a great impact on us. So as a practice in allegory, I profiled Jesus as my big brother, and called him Joshua.

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My Brother Joshua

My brother Joshua is a man worth profiling. He is my oldest brother by adoption and my best friend. I first met him when I was very young, but finally decided to be adopted by his family in the spring of 2006. Joshua is not hard to like. If anyone really gets to know him, they will find him the most faithful of brothers. He and I became very fast friends and it’s not hard to see why. He has a passion for helping others. This is what first drew me to him. People that are despised, he loves. People who are outcast he takes in. He loves everything America despises. America loves the beautiful, the whole and the strong. Joshua loves the unattractive, the broken and the weak.

I will never forget the day I finally made the decision to be adopted. It was mid-May and was about to turn sixteen. I was working in my yard when Joshua stopped by. He and I talked while I worked.

“Hey Stephen”

I smiled because whenever he says, “Hey Peter” like that, I know he is going to teach me something worth knowing. I always enjoy it when he chooses to teach me something. He is very wise and very patient. He loves to teach in ways that, at first, confuse me. Generally he will say something that seems simple, but as soon as I apply it to my life, I find it’s harder than it appeared.

“Hey Stephen” he said. “You’ve got one day to live.”

I paused. His odd statement puzzled me. I have one day to live? Did he know something about my health that I didn’t? Why did he say that? I like to try to figure out what he means on my own, but this time I had to ask.

“What are you talking about?”

He smiled. He knew he had piqued my curiosity.

“Look at it this way,” he started. “Yesterday is gone. You can’t change yesterday anymore than you can change the first day of time. It’s completely lost; only found in your memories.”

He gave me a second for it to sink in, and continued.

“And who has guaranteed you tomorrow? What rule is written that says you will have another day? Yesterday only exists in your memories, and tomorrow only exists in your plans. The only time you truly have, is the brief moment we call today. You only have one day to live.”

The second time he said it, the phrase made more sense. I did only have one day to live. This was Joshua’s way of saying “our offer of adoption still stands. What do you say? You want to be my brother?”


Over the next few days I talked to my guardians and Joshua’s dad and decided that it was the right thing to do. Joshua is now my oldest brother, but he is not my only sibling. I was adopted into a large family. A few of my new siblings fight far too much. This is the one drawback to my new home. They disagree on a lot of little things. But the one thing that we all agree on is that we really like Joshua. We all love him and try to let our love be the thing that keeps us together. It’s no secret that we almost idolize him. Some say we idolize him too much and others say we don’t idolize him enough. Still, he’s everything that we want to be. We just have a hard time agreeing on other things. But Joshua is always patient and always kind. He never lets our bickering get to him. He is the living example of what love and strength is.

Joshua is by far my best friend. No one knows me nearly as well as he does. But friends don’t become best friends just because of the good times they’ve shared together. Usually, they become best friends because of the hard and difficult times they’ve shared. Joshua has always been there when I needed him. He always hurts with those who are hurt. But even in the hard times, he’s trying to teach me something. Once, after a very painful breakup, he taught me one of the most helpful lessons I have ever learned. We went for a long walk and spent several minutes in silence. Then he said,

“Hey Stephen”,

in that special way again. But I couldn’t find the courage to smile this time. He continued,

“Gold is put into a fire for a very important reason.”

Again he gave me a moment to let it sink in.

“When gold is put into the fire, it melts until its liquid. Then the impurities rise to the surface and are scraped away. Gold cannot be purified unless it is put through a fire. This is why we suffer – to be made strong and pure. Don’t ever run away from hard times. In every fire you go through, there is a lesson. Look for it. If you don’t look, you may miss the jewel that’s only found in the ashes.”

As he was still speaking, I already knew that it was true. I was a little ashamed of myself for being so easily distracted. I assured him that I would be looking for the lesson.

Joshua has this strength and love because of our dad. He and my new father are exactly the same. If anyone wanted to get to know my dad, they should get to know Joshua. He does what he sees our dad doing. He opens our door to anyone who knocks on it, and helps anyone who asks. He and his dad decided that they would not force me into being adopted and they gave me the final decision in the matter. All they did was offer. The choice was mine. There are many reasons why I chose what I did. But all of the little reasons pale in comparison to the one factor of Joshua.

Some people wanted to know more about the actual person my brother is. In this profile, I’ve only told what I know first-hand about him. There are other books written about him, if anyone wants to know about the man himself. You see, Joshua is a Hebrew name. When it is translated into Greek, it’s Jesus. Joshua is Jesus Christ. This entire essay is an allegory. It has a truth deeper than the literal meanings of the words. But my adoption is a real as night and day, black and white, and heaven and hell. When I was adopted as a member into the family of God, Jesus became my older brother. We both share the same father, and my earthy parents became only my guardians. Other Christians are now my brothers and sisters. And it’s true; they do fight far too much.

It’s hard to describe someone who means as much to me as Joshua does. In all honesty, I owe everything I have and everything I am to him. No one person has ever had as much impact on my life as Joshua has. Needless to say, my brother is the man I hope to become. Through him I have grown and become wiser. He is my hero, my mentor, and my friend. No one would do badly if they tried to be more like him.