Relational Equity

To all of my readers (I think we're up to four now, if you count my parents) who noticed that I haven't been writing on this blog in about two months, rest assured, I am still here.  It hasn't exactly been a hiatus though - between preparing for and actually going to Indonesia this summer, the only thing I've had time to write is job applications.  Though if you are interested in our international travel, feel free to browse the blog I maintained while overseas.  

There is an idea that I've heard a few different ways that I'd like to write about today.  I think it originated from Stephen Covey's book Seven Habits for Highly Effective People.  It's the concept of relational equity, or the emotional bank account.  It goes something like this: every relationship you have is kind of like a bank account - sometimes you put things that give it a positive balance and build a strong account, sometimes you make withdrawals, which can leave it with a negative balance.  Understanding the relationships you are in, and how your "account" is with that person, is highly important - especially in a work environment or in any kind of counseling.  

The account, though, is meant to be used for something good - right?  Money does not exist simply to have it - we are meant to use money in a responsible way.  I've had a couple friendships at work that seemed like the account kept building and building, but I never "cashed in" on that balance or made a withdrawal.  

In Matthew 25, an example is given of business owner who goes away on a long trip.  "Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them.  To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey."  In the end, the man who was given five bags invested it and got more, and the man who was given two bags did the same.  But the man who was given one bag buried it in the ground and gave back the same amount when his boss returned.

We have things, even if those things are the invisible influence or relational equity with other people, for a reason: to invest it well.  If someone looks up to me, I have a responsibility to that person to leverage the relationship for some kind of good.

Look around you at who you have influence over.  What if you were given that influence so that you can speak truth into their lives that they wouldn't hear from anyone else?  Look around you at who you have a negative balance with - what can you do to build that account balance?

My Favorite Place in Jacksonville

I like to write about things that I love.  This is about my favorite coffee shop in Jacksonville.  It’s a little place called “Sippers Coffee House.”  If you are a local to Jacksonville, or even if you just make it to town every once in a while, you need to stop by this place – you will fall in love with it.  This is the Yelp rating on it.

It is a quaint little shop on the corner of a small little island of other little shops.  There is an old stereo against the wall that is always playing the old songs of the 40’s - 60's.  Right now, as I sit in the small study booth they have, a big band is playing on the radio and it’s riffing off a light jazz melody. 

There are two old wooden pews against one wall with a couch and two comfy chairs with a lamp between them.  In one corner, there is a piano with the cover up, keys exposed, tempting anyone to sit down and play.  There is a TV that is always on silent, and almost always has old black and white movies playing. 

On the way to the bathrooms, you’ll notice a rack with white boxes stacked up that say “Fresh Vegetables” on the side.  Sippers doubles as a pickup location for the Veggie Bin, a service you can sign up for that allows you to buy in season, fresh vegetables from local farmers.  From what I gather, you never quite know what’s going to be in the box – just that it was grown locally, some are certified as strictly organic, and that they are the veggies that are in season.

As part of the décor, there is an old coffee grinder that is actually identical to the one my family used when I was growing up.  Until just now, I didn't realize how odd it was that we used something this antique to grind our coffee beans each morning, but I also love that we did. 

There is a world map on the wall with probably two hundred pins stuck in various places around the globe.  There is a small box of pins and you are encouraged to pin anywhere in the world you have been. 

So far, I have said nothing about the coffee, bagels, pastries, tea, iced smoothies, free wifi, home made cookies, or even their cold chicken salad sandwiches which are really top notch, because they are only one part of the reason I love Sippers. 

My favorite thing about Sippers is a recent addition.  The bookshelf against one wall will now be a community library, where you can grab books you want to read and put books you don’t use.  I love this idea, not only because it was my suggestion (though they had been meaning to do something like it for a while), but because it gives me one more reason to stop by and spend an afternoon.